I've done a lot of preparation for this post - as in, I went out last night and consumed many spirits - so I feel extremely qualified for briefing you on how to survive what the French call a guele de bois; so elegant sounding in French, the literal translation for their word for hangover being "gob of wood" or something similar.
- Get some aqua in ya. An ocean's worth if you can. Your body is mentally dehydrated and water is what it is needing my friend.
- SHOWER. YOU SMELL DISGUSTING. EVERYTHING SMELLS DISGUSTING. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF AGAIN?!
- Relax. Deeeeep. You are not going to be productive today my friend. Anything you make yourself do, you'll probably have to redo the next day, or whenever it is you start feeling human again. So, get a box set, or some crappy films, your favourite comfy clothes (I, as your temporary advice giving sister, will let you have a pyjama day if this is what is needed. Just make sure they're clean ones.)
- If you're feeling seriously rough, eat some bland food that you won't mind chucking back up again. We're talking bread, rice, paper... I am joshing about the paper but stick to all things dull and you will thank me from your slumped stance across the toilet bowl later.
- Get enough sleep. For me, this is legit the only real cure. A lot of the reason you're feeling crappy is not because you stayed up drinking till 4am, it's simply because you stayed up till 4am. Get some rest my babe.
- Put on your hangover jam. For me it's listening to the albums Jenny Llewellyn or Sophrosyne (all about 80s pop elements in my chill tunes) by WMD. So deliciously mellow. Bon Iver is also a nice shout.
- Bond with whoever you were out with. Hangovers are best served with company and chances are you are all in a similar state of disrepair. Let your hangover gel you together, growing in experience but probably not in wisdom because your brain cells aren't capable of learning anything just yet.
And that's it my darlings. If you are after some product recommendations that I like for when I am a bit worse for wear, do shout and I'll pop them in a separate post for you. Excuse me while I lie down with Parks and Rec and down this litre of water.
